Photo by christopher catbagan on Unsplash
We know the story of baby birds. Baby birds hatch out of their eggs. They cry and wine until they are fed and watered, and then they sleep the rest of the day. Eventually, as they continue to grow, they develop wings and the innate ability to fly. So eventually, they give their hand at flying, with one of two things happening.
They will fall flat on the ground and give it another try, or they will soar in the air and develop independence.
While birds are not the same as humans, they share a similar story. When they are little, they depend on their parents. As they grow older, they learn how to operate their lives either through life or school. Eventually, they learn enough and are deemed ready to start off on their own journey.
But that’s not happening now. Recent statistics show that many young adults have been “failing to launch,” with some percentages as high as 50%.
But with that stated, what even is-
FAILURE TO LAUNCH
“Failure to launch” is a term popularized by the 2006 movie amply called… well… “Failure to launch,” a movie showcasing a lazy 35-year-old man who wants to be coddled by his mom.
People who use this term are normally referring to young adults who are not able to meet independence from societal standards. This could mean not leaving the parent’s house by a certain age, not being able to obtain a job, not being able to financially support themselves, and a variety of other factors.
This phrase has been used recently to describe young adults (and men) who can’t support themselves fully or don’t want to leave the house. Typically, trying to demean them by making it seem that they don’t want to “grow up.” However, this doesn’t cover the whole truth of the person’s situation or the power the younger generations now lack.
Which can make the phrase very arbitrary. What is the age when a young man has “failed to launch?” Is it 18? Is it 20? 25? 30? It takes away the account of financial positioning, the amount of opportunities around, connections, proper education, knowledge taught by parents, and many other factors. How do you even measure a “successful” launch?
Do you measure it by if the adult is out on his own? If you do that, and he doesn’t have a proper place to stay, do the streets count?
Is it financial stability? If so, then what if they have to work 70-hour weeks to achieve “financial stability?” Is that a successful launch?
What if a young adult is happy to live with their family and help pay most of the bills? Is that an “unsuccessful” or a “successful” launch?
This isn’t to say that there aren’t any lazy or unproductive members of society who would be intellectually dishonest. But that doesn’t mean that every young adult man or woman is lazy and wants to be coddled. Context truly matters when it comes to judging the character of others, especially with subjects like this.
It could even be that some young people take longer to develop into independent adults.
Some young men want to understand themselves more before joining an occupation and feel they can never escape from it.
Some people have learning disabilities, which make it difficult for them to understand what they should and shouldn’t do in life, their occupation, and society.
Others could be facing depression and problems that some may not know about or fears that are stopping them from being able to take the next step forward in their life.
This makes sense, given that young adults now have it tough compared to older generations, especially the baby boomers. While there are no world wars, 5-mile walks through the snow to school, or hard labor, there are still plenty of challenges that younger generations face that many of the older generations didn’t have to suffer through that impede their progress towards independence. With such problems as;
- Increased financial issues like college debt, living costs, and mortgages.
- Mental health and substance abuse problems are plaguing young adults now more than ever.
- Getting a college degree doesn’t guarantee a good job or even a job.
- Young adults are the loneliest group in society. This can stop them from creating connections that can help them further their career and create opportunities.
- Internet and video game addiction can come from young adults because of being alone so often.
- Young adults are taking more time to find the right job that can allow them to fulfill a better work-life balance.
Knowing this, not every individual is at complete fault for their development. This labeling that we can do on young adults can be especially harmful because of it. But it can be even more detrimental to men. Men naturally want to be successful, have the respect of their peers, and feel competent. But when we cast this type of judgment upon men, especially young men, it can ruin their confidence. Even to successful men, it can make them seem like imposters even when they try their best with what they have. Which is why-
“FAILURE TO LAUNCH” IS THE EPIDEMIC
By stating or believing that someone has failed to become an adult at “launch,” we are disregarding the person and putting them down as a result. When this is applied to men, it can harm the many things that men want to become. Most young adults do not want to be in a position of dependency; most people don’t.
Just because there are roadblocks and troubles when it comes to “launching” doesn’t mean it is out of young adults or their parents’ hands. It means that there are more difficulties to overcome.
WAYS TO BE SUCCESSFUL ON “LAUNCH”
There are many ways to succeed when taking the most significant step toward life. So, I will list ways young people can improve their independence and how others can help them in that process.
- Create a plan of attack to become independent. If you know what you are doing, this can be as simple as scheduling your days to help productivity. It could be that you are career planning and paying attention to the prices of everyday services and goods so you know you could be financially stable. Everyone’s situation varies, but creating a plan that caters to your interests and problems is a good way to go about it.
- Engaging in self-improvement. Many people, especially young adults, have problems with their own image. Gaining confidence can be crucial during this period. So, find ways to improve! Go to a seminar, learn something new that interests you, take a challenge to improve your craft, create a home gym regimen, etc. Any way to improve your self-image and confidence will go a long way.
- Therapy and coaching. Young adults during this period can feel directionless and have no idea what they are/want to be doing. This can sometimes compound into losing grasp on basic abilities and losing interest in the future and mundane everyday life. This can be due to a number of factors, some of which can require the use of a professional counselor or coach to help put them on the right path again.
- Have a conversational mentoring relationship with your young adult. To the parents, always note the wisdom you have accrued throughout your life. The world has changed since you were a kid. There are things that your child knows about the world, but you have wisdom that can help complete their understanding. So, try to have a relationship with them and encourage them to talk to you about problems. Then you can give suggestions about how to deal with these problems and possible ways to improve. This will allow them to use your information willingly.
Hopefully, this has helped in some way. Thank you for reading!
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