In today’s modern age, the internet is one of the best ways to promote yourself. While you could be sleeping, many people could be looking at your content or posts.
Tinder applies to this rule. The idea of Tinder is that you can easily apply yourself by simply snapping a couple of lovely photos of yourself. And presto! You now have put yourself out there for the world to see. Now, go shoot a message to a couple of people, and eventually, someone is bound to get back to you.
But it doesn’t work. No matter how hard you try, nothing seems to work. Interesting facts, conversation topics, one-liners, pick-up lines, and how much money you make (trust me, you don’t want a gold digger) are all in vain.
That’s because of a few truths that come with the territory.
You are just another number to women.
This doesn’t apply to all women who use dating apps, but it sure applies to many of them.
Because of how it is structured, these women who see your posts don’t initially feel any connection to you or care about what you have to say.
She has probably seen all those things you have tried from someone else or had the same stuff pulled on her probably the day before and perhaps from other guys tomorrow.
Standing out is crucial in a sea of options. But it’s a challenge when you’re competing with everyone else for the attention of a woman you barely know or have a connection with.
You might get hurt from all the attempts.
Unless you’ve already found success, been lucky enough to meet the right woman, or possess a certain charm, it’s inevitable that your confidence will take a hit.
There are only so many times that you can get rejected that you might become cynical about relationships, which will hurt any genuine ones or future ones.
Relationships are complex and always will be. But going on dating sites makes everything feel shallow and hollow.
You and that woman are looking for different things.
When it comes to these dating apps, even after you get past the whole cycle, you finally start getting to know each other. You two could both want completely different things.
Maybe she wants a boy toy, and you want to feel appreciated, or vice versa. At the end of the day, you both want completely different things out of life.
Now, this is a pretty standard thing and totally normal. But it is made exponentially worse by the fact that you have had to spin the wheel over and over again to finally get an opportunity, and it might just turn out that she wants you for completely different reasons!
That’s a crying shame to be wasting your time on
Put yourself out there physically.
Before we had the internet, we were courting physically. Outside of… You know, not having the internet is for good reason!
Engaging in face-to-face conversations allows you to present your true self to a woman. It’s an opportunity for her to see your strengths and not just your online persona. When you spend time with her, you’re not just ‘another guy’ but a complete person, and that’s what can make a real connection.
Of course, this is not how every woman is going to act. Not all women are sensible, just as we guys can be. But your attempt with that special lady won’t just be a game of how attractive you are, how shredded your body is, or even how many skills you have.
I have some advice if it is your first outing on this thing.
Firstly, go to somewhere public. It can be anything from a park to a cafe, even to your favorite convention. Then, you can shoot at women who interest you after you build courage and social skills. Even a nice “You look really pretty; wanna get a coffee?” It really can do wonders.
Second, go to that public spot, but instead, try to find a group of people, some group of friends. Give a good introduction and some decent banter, and come off friendly. Get a feel for how they act and if they have the same interests. If not, or you don’t jive with them, just scoot yourself along and try another group. If you like how they are, try getting really good with them.
Eventually, after you hang around them, you gonna become another one of the pals. You may not have the same standing as the others, but you will still be like one. People like hanging around people they feel like they know. After that, you can see if you jive with other people or ask a favor to see if they happen to know someone. If they do, there’s a shot! If not, then that’s alright. Putting yourself out there is how you shoot your shot. All of the best relationships have a good foundation. Having a good standing with other people’s friends, or being a great friend first, is a great way to build a good foundation!
Don’t follow all of this advice to a tee. Context really matters when it comes to this kind of thing, and there is no script. So pay attention and think things over.
Yes, it’s a lot of work, but it’s all worth it in the end. I promise you, with the right approach and mindset, you can find success in your dating journey.
Other ways of putting yourself out there
If you aren’t looking to go out in public, there are other great ways, too!
For instance, you can try Discord. Look, before you sling rocks at me, it isn’t that bad. I ain’t recommending any of those weird servers. More like just the regular ones where you mingle with people. Either by playing games or just hanging out.
Just like any social hub, there are bound to be regulars. Meet some of those regulars, see if you jive with them, and see if they have a friend group that you can join. Try to stay out of the drama, if any, and be a decent guy, and you can find some success there, too!
Just remember that putting yourself out there is the most essential part!
I hope this information was helpful to you. If you have any questions, you can contact me either above or below. Otherwise, stay tuned for more content in the future!
